(This reflection was written last year by St. Mary’s Campus Minister and Mission Team leader Madeline. In a few days we will send another 18 Aggie Catholics to Honduras on mission for Jesus. Please keep them in the Honduran people in prayer.)
Lead me to the cross
Where Your love poured out
Bring me to my knees
Lord I lay me down
Rid me of myself
I belong to You
Lead me, lead me to the cross
This week I have been praying with this song. I have been praying that he would lead me to his cross, that I would feel His love pour out, that I would be brought to my knees and able to rid me of myself. The second I prayed these things sitting in the Rock (St. Mary’s praise and worship group) on Monday night I realized he had already done these things. He did each of these through the people of Honduras over the past week, where I led a group of 17 Aggie Catholics on a mission trip during spring break. The Cross is a place of brokenness and of suffering. The cross is a place of pain. The cross isn’t an easy place to be, Jesus showed us that.
He brought me firsthand to suffering, to brokenness, to pain. He led me straight to his cross, the cross of the pain and brokenness of the Honduran people. The Honduran people don’t have the same luxury we have of hiding behind things; we can hide behind addictions and comfort of this world. But the Honduran people don’t have the option to hide. They face the realities of their life day in and day out. Just by looking at the Hondurans, you can see the brokenness, you can feel the pain. Jesus invited me to experience up close and personal the cross of pain and brokenness. Jesus invited me to draw so close to his cross by drawing close to the people of Honduras, to feel the pain, the heartache, and the suffering.
Despite this brokenness, His love was poured out. The Honduran people love with such a deep love, one that is hard to even begin to describe. Regardless of the suffering, the pain, and the heartache, they gave everything for us. They gave us the best that they could give. They offered us cups of coffee, little cookies, plates of food, little juice pouches. They gave us anything they could. They invited us into their homes; they brought the food to us when it was too dark for us to walk. They gave it all for this group of 8 missionaries that they had never met before this week. They sacrificed for us without thinking twice about it. They loved without measure.
Ultimately, He brought me to my knees. He gave me the moments and the grace to rid me of myself. It didn’t matter what I preferred or what I wanted. I was brought to my knees and challenged to put aside my desires to eat “normal” food, to sleep on something other than a bench, to be in a place with electricity, to be able to communicate with words. He allowed me to be present in His suffering. He allowed me to see the pain of the cross but also the immense love that pours forth from the suffering. He allowed me to experience Him more fully, to experience His cross, and to see how His love is poured out and to be able to reflect more deeply upon those simple words “lead me to the cross.”